I know what you’re thinking: “Oh God, not another anti-Valentine’s Day post from another lonely, bitter woman who ‘don’t need no man…’ ”
On the contrary, my friends. It just so happens Valentines is one of my favorite holidays. Whether in a relationship, single, or somewhere in between, I have historically held an over enthusiastic love for Valentine’s Day. I am a holiday hater’s worst nightmare.
So, there’s my disclaimer: I’m not lonely or bitter…..although I do shamelessly take full advantage of the half price candy sales on February 15th, alongside the 50+ divorcee crowd.
One piece of the above statement does hold itself to be true, though.
“…don’t need no man.”
As a freshman in college, what I want and what I need are two very different things.
Do I want a man? Sure. The fruits of the casual dating pool really can’t be fully enjoyed until the college years come along, and it’s absolutely wonderful. As freshmen in college, our goals and desires are ever changing. This is a time of self discovery. I have the rest of my life to find my “forever”….why rush it?
I can tell you what I do need, though…..I need my sisters. My girlfriends. This part of my life I do, in fact, need.
I’ve been around the block. I know the nature of the judgements that we as women pass upon each other during the Valentine’s season all too well. Why? Because at one point in my life, I was the girl who made them. This time last year, I was convinced that anyone with anything other than a Type A perspective on this holiday just “didn’t understand what it was like to be in love.” As a high schooler, Valentine’s Day was less about intimate moments, and all about professing my love via every social media outlet available. Your love is only as deep as the caption to your Instagram collage, right?
……and then I grew up.
So this year, I made a New Year’s Resolution that I intend to keep. I resolved to take the time and effort I threw into my relationships with men in 2013, and channel that additional energy into my friendships with the women who have never left my side.
No, I haven’t switched teams. It’s affirmed…I really, really like guys. 100 percent. But, when I look back on my high school years it breaks my heart to admit that many times, I passed up on spending time with good friends, in favor of spending time with whoever I was dating at the time. College is all about growth and change, so this resolution seemed fitting.
While I understand that the term “sisters” is generally used within the Greek community, I believe it extends far beyond sorority life. While my sisters can certainly be found in my sorority house, they can also be found in dorm rooms, on dance floors, in apartments, and coffee shops alike.
Recently, one of them shared this photo with me.
At first I laughed, because on the surface the witty words of the Sex and the City ladies are always humorous. But as the deeper message settled in, I found myself at a loss for words.
As young women in college, many of us put on a front. “I have it all together,” our social media posts, smiles, and actions portray. But in reality, in our late teens and early twenties, we’re all a little lost and confused in some way or another. To find friendships so genuine and meaningful in the midst of such madness…well, it’s absolutely beautiful.
Melodramatic? Maybe a little. But as I processed the photo, it hit me: nothing in this world can replace the unique bond that is sisterhood.
Sisters will protect you like you’re their child.
Sisters will love you like you’re their daughter.
Sisters will lecture you like you’re their grandchild.
Sisters will judge the men you date like they’re your father (or harsher than your father, if they’re doing their job right.)
Sisters are the ones who take the phone from your hand when they see his name pop up on the screen.
Sisters are the ones who will split a box of Krispy Kremes with you, just because.
Sisters are the ones who understand every inside joke, and will always join in your random fits of laughter.
Sisters will hold you as you cry.
Sisters will celebrate your achievements, as though they are their own.
Sisters will love you unconditionally. Not just on Valentine’s Day, but 365 days a year.
They say that “most men are like purses: cute and replaceable.” One day, I’ll find myself that limited edition, high quality Prada bag. I haven’t yet, but I know the day will come. I’m not in any hurry though, because an investment like that takes time and thought.
In the meantime, I’m holding on to a genuine article….sisters. And like a good Kate Spade bag, these ladies are timeless.